Sample Descriptive Answer

Here's another descriptive essay that I've written up to allow you to understand what an answer to this sort of question should look like. I've drafted up an answer more toward the peculiar side that I'll hope you'll enjoy. 

Give an account of your arrival at a very strange hotel. Describe the building, the surroundings, the staff and the other guests. [25]

The bright, mellow sunshine outside suddenly darkened into an ominous, black passageway as I stepped into the antiquated hotel. A flickering bulb, casting short burst of light on thick cobwebs and fuzzy spiders hung shakily on a thin wire. The walls were illuminated in bright neon green that was somehow dull as well - like fresh barf. Yuck! Cracks decorated the walls like abstract art, the mossy-green fungus leeching out of the corners and edges, framing it all together. Visceral, gruelling photos were plastered on the decrepit wall.

Shadows were cast under the eyes of the receptionist. His smile was contorted in a frightening way, curled around the edges, and his eyes were abnormally wide open, a puppet - even his arms seemed loose and dangly, his actions extreme and uncontrolled. Hardly formal, a strange tikki doll hung around his neck brought out the palm trees swaying on his Hawaiian t-shirt and beige of his baggy shorts. The rancid scent of incense - blends of jasmine, lavender, and other incomprehensible smells, seemed punch and harass my nose. Bleh! Gingerly handing my credit card to him, I received it caked with dirt and covered in slobber.

Shrill cries seemed to ring from the elevator, so I steered clear and stomped heavily on the creaking staircase, lugging my heavy suitcase around. Obstreperous neighbors trudged by, on a harangue. Hirsute all over, beards growing to their feet, hair curly and uncombed, and eyebrows bushy as could be, they prattled on. An old man bumped into the wall, as blind as a bat, and lost his balance, like a toddler learning to walk. Eerily, his legs kept swinging back and forth like a robotic machine and his words poured out in a static monotone. Willing up courage from the deepest depths of my soul, I lightly ‘staccato-tapped’ a man with the very tip of a sleek, shiny pen, and he suddenly blared “MARCH 18, 1862,” as loud as a fire alarm, as though it was his birthday.

I scurried quickly past. I continuously trudged on for what seemed like minutes, until I glanced at my watch whose hour hand had turned 180 degrees! The staircase was never ending, seeming to go on to infinity, like looking up at space in the sky and wondering where it would end. Popping stale candy into my mouth, I tried to extract any hints of sweet, succulent flavor remaining, only to receive hard, sharp shards tasting like the oven-baked bricks of the building. A chill went up my spine as I heard some scuttling magnified, like a loud whisper, and turned back as quick as lightning to see -

A wave of spiders! It was like a tsunami, inescapable. Leaving my suitcase stranded to fend for itself, I ran as fast as a cheetah, cursing myself for stepping foot into this prison.

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Again, the highlighted parts are the areas with a problem. I was trying to imply that the people in the hotel had been stuck there since its inception, but it didn't quite work out. Here's what I'd say to replace it instead: He wore a dirty-grey Confederate uniform, and his eyes seemed to roll backwards, opaquely glazed over. His countless honors and medals that attempted to stand rather too proudly against the drab backdrop that was the shredded cloth on his shoulder seemed worn out and forgotten.

Another problem I had was with adding too many commas where they weren't necessary. After reading the answer aloud, I cancelled out a number of them to make the essay seem more natural.

Thereby you have to comprehend the problems with your essay and fix those problems. Feel free to send any sample answers to me, and I'll make sure to leave constructive criticism on it, as I understand that it's troublesome to know your difficulties unless someone points them out.

I'll post a post with a few tips to implement in the meanwhile!